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Related: Learn how to recognize the beauty of being broken.

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Quite often couples do something together to experience the thing itself—like go to a movie because they both really want to see it. Maybe you need a little sensuality, or relaxation, or an exciting adrenaline rush.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s also good to plan quality activities together that can help you grow both as a couple, and as individuals. If your dating life is getting a bit mundane, try asking the question “What do we want to experience? Figure that out first, then find an activity that will support both of your needs and desires.

It’s not something you get when you’ve done everything right.

The truth is none of us are overwhelmingly easy to love, but we’re all so deeply and fully worthy of the effort.

I don’t have time to make sure you feel secure.” The woman was outraged. She felt her lover’s words were an indictment of her character. “You need lots of things and I try my best to provide them. From this false perception, I collected attributes I thought I needed to be: more outspoken, more thoughtful, more communicative, more calm.

She didn’t think she needed too much reassurance, but she wasn’t quite sure she understood true love at all. I repeated affirmations of self-worth and inner-joy, while ignoring the nagging feeling that I just wasn’t enough. I forgot that powerful moment when I advocated for myself and told my ex-lover that it was okay to need reassurance.

Once upon a time, two people fell in love (spoiler alert: one of those people was me, and, it didn’t last).

The two were almost happy, but they had trouble loving each other and themselves.

On my journey toward healing, I confused self-deprecation with spiritual awakening.

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