Dating at 40

But what I soon realized was that sometimes the best way to date is to go off script.

So that’s what this column, Undressed, is about: gender, social norms, dating rules — and what happens when we break them.

Once they reach 35, women actually respond follows dating age conventions, but what about those women who want to flip the norm on its head?

Not my ideal meet cute, but whatever — and it made me wonder: is the old norm of older man with younger woman out?

I decided to find out by pulling data on Ok Cupid messaging between straight daters from 2013 to today — so I looked at over 10 million “successful” conversations, defined as convos that included at least at four messages back and forth with contact exchange.

It appears this age gap is largely driven by dudes.

Men start 80% of conversations on Ok Cupid, and they tend to message younger women.

The older men get, the younger the women they message (relative to their own age).

Women, on the other hand, message and respond most often to men about their own age.

If we graduated without a future husband in tow, the men in our class would forgo us for younger, dumber women.

She advised we start the search as early into college as possible. If he was sour over being stuck with a crusty upperclassman like me, he didn’t show it.

When women start conversations, they tend to message men closer to their own age.

By 55, they’ll send more than half their messages to men at least 4 years their junior.

They have more interesting jobs and hobbies, and their profiles are just …

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